1st draft: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l759nUReKdvkEj3Y5KZKZKILIG6SxjLVkqCeiivwh7w/edit
Final: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qp9pcqVgLaqoHwLS8zbA_GAh0OvAc70ftwm6nihGdRc/edit
One of the projects that I did the to revision to was big data. This was my final paper so I really was able to put a lot of thought and local revision into it. For this paper especially I focused more on taking chunks out that weren’t needed and then looking at the little details in the end. I found myself adding new paragraphs and not only editing the paragraphs and topics, but the structure and organization of them. For my first draft I found myself not really explaining big data the way I wanted to, especially because I did not have a good understanding of it when I first heard it, so with that I tried to put myself in the perspective of the reader and added this paragraph:
“Big data. It is all around us, yet we are totally oblivious of how or why it comes up. Big data is an extremely large amount of data, usually by statistics or research, that are analyzed to reveal trends or patterns within our world. It usually relates within human interactions and behaviors but it also plays a major role in our health. With recent technology we can keep track of health data ourselves. Even with personal data or doctor’s records, limitations such as understanding of disease or privacy dilemmas are still present in our day to day lives. Dr. Eric Schadt, founding director of the Icahn institute, is very knowledgeable on big data and specifically its role in the medical field. Dr. Schadt contributes that “The role of big data in medicine is one where we can build better health profiles and better predictive models around individual patients so that we can better diagnose and treat disease” (Schadt, 2). This role is critical to modern day health, and being able to understand it as a society will only benefit.”
